There’s nothing better than that feeling of butterflies in your stomach. But we can’t hop from one fling to another all the time just to experience it. It means that at some point, we’ll have to build a more reliable relationship based on true love. So let's find out what makes love work.
The “composition” of love is relatively simple: its “cocktail” consists of only two components. Passion and affection are replaced by tender feelings and loyalty, represented by oxytocin and vasopressin respectively. This couple suppresses the production of “hormones of passion,” and that’s why love fades over time.
Oxytocin is a hormone of trust. Studies have shown that the more it’s produced during physical and emotional contact with a person, the more we trust this person. The level of oxytocin significantly increases with close contacts, like touches and hugs. The maximum amount of the hormone enters the bloodstream during sex and at the moment of orgasm. Therefore, on the one hand, it’s believed that love can’t last long without sex. On the other hand, love shouldn’t start with sex: in this case, loyalty to a partner is increased so much that it becomes incredibly difficult to see who they really are. So if you want to know how to make love work, don’t get too intimate with your partner at once.
Vasopressin makes us monogamous. Scientists have found out that with an artificial decrease of this hormone in the body, a person’s interest in the partner quickly fades into nothing. The amount of vasopressin in the blood directly depends on the duration of the relationship and the fidelity of the loved one. That is, you can fall in love at first sight, but true love always appears gradually.
Love can last a lifetime, but without conscious effort, it’s reduced to 3-3,5 years. After that, the hormonal pattern often changes, and many couples break up.